The Essential Table Manners

As the holidays approach, we will all soon be gathering around the table with family, friends, and loved ones. In the spirit of enjoying such divine meals, having good tables is an incredibly important asset yet so commonly overlooked. From social to professional settings, food defines our culture and is present everywhere. Whether you are with family, friends, coworkers, a new client, or distinguished guests and dignitaries, it is always important to mind your manners, especially at the table.

This week, I am sharing my list of the essential table manners everyone should follow.

  1. “Sit Pretty” aka Have Good Posture at the Table
    • Sit straight in your chair with your shoulders back.
    • Keep both legs on the ground in front of you. If you want to cross your legs, cross at your ankles.
    • Pull your chair up to the table so you can comfortably reach everything at your place setting and your legs are under the table.
  2. Use a Napkin
    • Place it in your lap when you take your seat and keep it there the remainder of the meal.
    • Wipe your mouth with your napkin, not your hands.
    • If something gets on you fingers, wipe it on your napkin. Licking your fingers is not a good look!
  3. Avoid Gulping, Slurping, and Playing with Things
    • Drink your beverage slowly and smoothly. Do not gulp it down.
    • Avoid playing with your straw, chewing on it, and making sucking noises with it.
    • Leave your utensils where they are until you are ready to use them.
    • Put the spoon in your mouth when eating soup or cereal to avoid slurping it off the end.
  4. Basic Manners Run Down
    • Wait to begin eating until everyone has been served and the hostess begins eating.
    • Use the butter knife to cut a piece of butter from the full stick and place it on your bread plate. Use your own knife to spread the butter on your roll/bread.
    • When eating bread, gently pull off one bite from the roll and butter that piece only. Do this for ever piece.
    • Always pass the salt and pepper together. Even if someone asks for only salt, pass them both. Salt and pepper are “attached at the hip.”
    • If eating “family style,” the Guest of Honor (seated to the right of the host) is served first then pass the serving dishes to your right around the table.
    • Bring food up to your mouth. Do not bend down to the plate to get food in your mouth.
    • Cut one bite of food at a time, eat that piece, then cut another piece. Repeat for the whole meal!
    • Do not talk with food in your mouth.
    • Always use your knife (not your fingers!) to get a piece of food onto your fork.
    • When eating spaghetti, use the side of your plate to twirl the pasta on your fork. A spoon should not be used.

Please keep these essential table manners in mind, not just during the holiday season, but all year long. These tips will truly help you in both the social and professional setting by giving you that little extra touch of polish! If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to send them my way!

Happy Dining!

Sparkle On,

Alexandra

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American versus Continental Dining Style

In conjunction with my post from last week, I am expanding on the topic of “Dining American or European/Continental Style?” As I pointed out previously, there are some basic differences between the two styles. Today, I am expanding on these differences and breaking down the key components to each style!

  1. Holding Your Silverware
    • American Style: You switch your fork and knife between hands so the utensil being used is in the dominant hand. For example, if you are right handed, you switch the fork to your left hand so you can cut with your right hand. Once you cut a piece of food, you switch the fork back to your right hand and take the food to your mouth with the fork in your right hand.
    • European/Continental Style: You keep the fork in your left hand with the tines facing down and your index finger on the back of the fork. Your knife is held in your right hand with the blade facing down and your index finger extended along the back of it. Once you cut a piece of food, you keep the fork face down and your wrist flat as you bring the food to your mouth.
  2. Hand Placement
    • American Style: Your wrists/hands do not touch the table.
    • European/Continental Style: Wrists always remain on the edge of and above the table, both when you are eating and when you are resting.
  3. Silverware Placement
    • American Style: The resting position is the fork, tines facing up, in the 4 o’clock position and the knife resting along the top corner of your plate. Once finished, place your knife, with the blade facing towards you, next to your fork, tines facing up, both in the 4 o’clock position on the plate. This signals to the server you are finished.
    • European/Continental Style: The resting position is in the middle of the plate as if you simply placed the silverware down exactly as you were holding them. The knife blade faces towards you in the 4 o’clock position and the fork tines face down over top of the knife in the 8 o’clock position. Once finished, place your knife, with the blade facing towards you, and fork, with the tines facing down, in the 4 o’clock position on the plate. This signals to the server you are finished.
  4. Eating Dessert (my favorite!)
    • American Style: Typically dessert is served with either a fork or a spoon. If you are given both, you may choose which utensil you prefer.
    • European/Continental Style: A fork and spoon (rarely a knife) are used. Hold the fork in your left hand and the spoon in your right hand and proceed to eat in the same manner as your main course (detailed above).
  5. Commonalities
    • In both styles, you cut one bite of food at a time. Put that piece in your mouth then cut the next.
    • The side of your fork should not be used to cut something.
    • Always use your knife (not your fingers!) to get a piece of food onto your fork.
    • Do not place your elbows or forearms on the table.
    • Same rules for your napkin! Place your napkin neatly on your chair if you will be returning to the table. Place the napkin neatly on the table if you are finished and exiting the table.

To help explain these details further and give you a visual, here is an informative video by Kimberly Law.

Now you know the basics to be successful in both an American and a European/Continental dining style! If you have any questions about what I discuss here or on another topic, please comment here or contact me!

Happy Dining!

Sparkle On,

Alexandra

8 Foundational Dining Etiquette Tips

This week, I am covering dining etiquette! This is a vast topic and can be broken into many posts so today, I am highlighting what I think are the foundational pieces of dining etiquette. Even though “dining etiquette” may feel like a formal topic, a lot of these tips can be used in everyday circumstances such as client luncheons or dinners, going out for a date, dinner with a significant other’s family, and many other settings! Here are my 8 Foundational Dining Etiquette Tips:

  1. Arriving at the Table and Being Seated
    • Stand to the right of your seat and enter from that side.
    • When everyone arrives at your table, the Host/Hostess invites the table to sit. Allow the Guest of Honor (to the Host/Hostess’ right) to begin sitting first, then the rest of table follows.
    • If everyone has not arrived at your table, but it is time to sit down, allow the evening to proceed as it should.
      • If additional guests join your table, stand to introduce yourself.
    • Anytime a lady excuses herself from the table, the gentlemen should stand as well. The same applies for when she returns.
    • If you have a purse with you, place it under your seat or in your lap if it is small. A purse should not be placed on the table.
  2. Napkin Duty
    • Once seated, remove the napkin from your place setting, but do not unfold it.
    • With the napkin on your lap, unfold it so the main fold is towards you. This prevents crumbs from falling out onto you when you pick-up your napkin.
  3. B – M – W
    • Your Bread is to the left of your plate.
    • Your Meal is directly in front of you.
    • Your Water/Wine is to the right of your plate.
  4. Which piece of silverware do I use?!
    • Work your way from the outside, in.
    • The silverware at the top of your plate is for dessert; do not touch it during the earlier courses. The wait staff should adjust your place setting prior to dessert. If they do not, the fork goes to your left and the knife or spoon goes to your right.
  5. Ah, there are so many glasses!
    • 3 or 4 Course Meal: Work from the bottom, up. The glass(es) closest to you will be for wine during your meal, the next and largest glass is for water, and the small, skinny flute is typically for champagne for toasts and/or dessert drinks.
    • 6 Course Meal: Work diagonally (from right to left), up.
    • If you do not want to be served wine or you do not care for coffee with dessert, simply say “No, thank you.” and place your hand gently over the glass to signal to the waiter not to pour. Turning your glass/cup upside down is not appropriate.
  6. Dining American or European/Continental Style?
    This is actually an entire post of its own (look for another one coming soon!), but a few major points are:

    • American Style: You switch your fork and knife between hands to cut then take the food to your mouth with your fork in the dominant hand. Continental Style: You keep the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right, both facing down, with your wrists against the table.
    • American Style: hands do not touch the table. Continental Style: Wrists always remain on the edge of the table both when you are eating and when you are resting.
    • Both styles: Once finished, place your knife with the blade facing you and fork facing up (American)/down (Continental) in the 4 o’clock position on the plate. This signals to the server you are finished.
    • Both styles: Cut one bite of meat or food at a time. Put that piece in your mouth then cut the next.
  7. Need to leave the table?
    • Simply say, “Please excuse me for a moment.” No one needs to know you are going to use the restroom!
    • Place your napkin neatly on your seat.
    • Exit your chair on the right side and when you return to the table, enter your chair from the right.
  8. At the completion of the meal
    • Place your napkin neatly on the table to signal you are not returning.
    • Exit your seat on the right side.

I hope this breaks down dining etiquette into digestible bits and provides you with the foundational pieces! If you have questions about any of these tips or about another topic, please comment here or contact me. I love hearing from my readers and answering your questions.

Happy Dining!

Sparkle On,

Alexandra